Meet Adam Holman | Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Mental Health Therapist

We had the good fortune of connecting with Adam Holman and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Adam, is there something you believe many others might not?
Immediately, my mind was flooded with a whole bunch of advice that I had received and followed, only to realize that it was leading me to suffering. As I tried to decide which piece of advice I wanted to get my revenge on via verbal dissection, I found myself unable to pick just one. In a moment of cathartic clarity, it hit me:

Conventional advice, as a concept, is something that I disagree with. The concept of conventional advice takes on a big assumption: There is a normal and acceptable way to live, and if you follow that path, you’ll be living correctly. It implies that there’s a prescription for what you should be doing, that it’s the same for everyone, and that your happiness and wellbeing is dependent on following that norm. That assumption simply isn’t true; there’s no correct way to exist, there’s no way that you should or shouldn’t be, and what’s normal does not take into account the unique values, preferences, skills, and life situation that you embody. If you would like to have an abnormally enjoyable life, it will require you to live abnormally, and when you recognize that there is no way that you ‘should’ be living, you’re open to live the life that you would like to live.

Now, to be clear, I’m not advocating for being contrarian. Choosing to go in the opposite direction of conventional advice out of spite or rebellion doesn’t necessarily bring you closer to the life you would like to live. Truthfully, some conventional advice is going to fit the type of life you would like to live. Some norms are going to align with your values, and other norms will not. What I am advocating for is to be thoughtful about the type of life you would like to live, and judicious about which aspects of the conventional path fit that life. With that in mind, I’m proposing an alternative concept:

Conventional Considerations. Instead of prescriptive advice for how we should live, the suggestions we receive from others are perspectives on how we could live. They’re guidelines for a certain way of existing, and we get to decide whether or not it fits the template of our life. We may not know whether or not the guidance fits, in which case we can see it as an experiment to run or a suggestion to trial. By running the experiment, we get to find out whether or not the convention fits how we would like to live. By translating well-intended conventional advice into a consideration, we reveal a life that we personally consider to be one worthy of living in.

With that said, I have an unconventional consideration for you all in the event that you find yourself wanting to experiment:

Whether you live conventionally or unconventionally doesn’t really matter. If you want to live a life that matters, respond to all things by doing what matters to you. In the end, no matter what has happened, you will have lived a life that mattered.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
I never intended to start a business, and the choice to open Main Quest Psychotherapy happened spontaneously within the span of a few minutes. I had been in the field for 6-years at that point, and had been happily practicing therapy as well as providing supervision at a group practice. I deeply value autonomy, learning new skills, and providing service to others, and could tell that I was wanting to take another step in that direction. Between the impacts that COVID had on mental health, the growing need for mental health services, the ability to practice therapy through telehealth, and stumbling across resources that would give me some support in opening my own business, I suddenly recognized that opening my practice was that step. A week later, Main Quest Psychotherapy was born.

The name of my practice is aligned with the story of it’s conception. Making a long story very short, my path to working in mental health began as a result of overcoming a 16-hour per day addiction to video games. I learned a lot in the process of playing so many games, learning to stop playing so many games, and recognizing that my mental health was at the crux of it all. After having experienced depression and anxiety for almost the entirety of my life, I recovered. I felt compelled to use my experience to help others find the same relief that I did, I’ve watched so many others walk the same path, and if there is one thing I want anyone experience mental health challenges to know it’s this: You can recover, and it’s worth it. It’s my belief that we all have a Main Quest, that it’s unique to our life experience, and that it’s revealed through paying attention to the next step of life unfolding in front of us. The spontaneous choice to start Main Quest, ironically, was part of my Main Quest, and I feel grateful to share it with all of you.

Finding your Main Quest sounds nice and inspiring, and it is, however living your Main Quest is a responsibility, and one that doesn’t come easily. Opening and running my own practice is one of the most difficult things that I’ve done. There is so much minutia and tedium, and to be frank, I get bored easily. Not only that, but running a business is a completely separate set of skills from providing therapy, and there was a lot to learn. Viktor Frankl quotes Nietzsche in ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’, stating, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” When you find your Main Quest, your ‘why’, the difficulty of the ‘how’ no longer matters.

If you had a friend visiting you, what are some of the local spots you’d want to take them around to?
I’ve come to simply adore Phoenix since moving here three years ago. Between the food, the coffee the music scene, more of the food and the coffee, the people, and the scenery, no amount of 115 degree weather can detract from how great it can be.

The first stop any time I have people come and visit is Roosevelt Row, bonus points if we can hit First Friday. Stopping at Arizona Wilderness or Welcome Diner is a must. Then, to walk off all of the excess energy from the delicious food, appreciating the views of the city and the various eclectic pieces of urban art.

Selfishly, any foray is going to involve multiple coffee shop trips. My absolute favorite shop is Moxie, however there are plenty more to choose from. Piexoto, Xanadu, Pair Cupworks, and Mythical are a few other must-stops if you’re wanting to take a coffee tour.

Weather permitting, enjoying the desert scenery is a must. If I’m with an experienced hiker, Piewesta Peak is a must. If I’m with someone less inclined towards steep inclines, the Desert Botanical Garden or Japanese Friendship Garden are wonderful places to stop. Fueling up in the morning before such an effortful adventure is important. Ollie Vaughns, Vovomeena, and Fame Cafe have all of the wonderful carbohydrates and caffeine you need.

When it comes to enjoying the evening, there are so many great music venues. If I can, I’ll pull people to The Rebel Lounge for a local show or to enjoy some emotional tunes at Emo Night. The Van Buren and Crescent Ballroom are also fantastic venues if there’s a show that fits the bill.

Finally, to celebrate great times with great people, there is only one place so worthy: Wren and Wolf. After enjoying some unbelievable food, there’s no greater send off than taking in the views of the ever-developing city and strolling down the historic Grand Avenue.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
Early on in my life, I had thought that I was a lone wolf. IN this stage of my life, I have so many mentors that I have a deep gratitude for. Some of them I’ve come to know personally, others I know and appreciate from a distance.

One of the biggest influences on my thinking has been Viktor Frankl, survivor of Auschwitz and author of “Man’s Search for Meaning’. I consider him to be one of my greatest mentors that I’ll never have the opportunity to meet, and the insight he shared as a result of his experience has deeply enriched my life. If ever I feel like I’ve lost my footing, I pull up some of my favorite quotes and find myself quickly back on the path to living well.

Recently, I’ve been incredibly inspired by Dr. Nicole LePera, known as @the.holistic.psychologist on Instagram. Her commitment to speaking honestly, compassionately, and vulnerably has helped me feel empowered to do the same. Not only that, but to do so from a place of deep love, offering helpful and practical information in a way that is accessible to all. Through feeling validated and resonating with your truth, I’ve become a more confident me.

David Burns is another mentor that I’ve been fortunate to meet and learn from. David is an author and creator of TEAM therapy, and has contributed significantly to the development of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Both personally and professionally, David has been a gift to my life. He has taught me accountability, compassion, and ultimately, brought me to heal myself so more people can help themselves through me.

I also want to thank all of the clients who have allowed me the privilege of bearing witness to their lives. I have gotten to live so many lives in this tiny little life of mine, it’s been nothing short of incredible to see you all live the life you want to be living, and through walking that path with you, you are all my greatest teachers.

I’ve saved the best for last; I have so many people in my life that have been inspiring, encouraging, accepting, and loving. In doing so, they have helped me exist in a way that I love being. Tory Duchene, James Salas, Dessa Phelps, Joe Spector, Megan Heywood, and Brian Baker. As I write this, I become tearful. Thank you for seeing me as I am, believing in me fully, and helping me realize myself as someone to believe in.

Website: https://www.mainquestpsychotherapy.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adamholmanlcsw/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100093821487766

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@adamholmanlcsw

Image Credits
Emo Night Phx photo provided by @laurenklinge