Meet Shelley Treadaway | Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist (LAMFT)

We had the good fortune of connecting with Shelley Treadaway and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Shelley, how does your business help the community?
I am a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist in Phoenix, Arizona. I work with individuals, couples, families, and any dynamic of the list in order to create balance, reduce stress, increase self-esteem, or identify problematic behaviors or patterns that are getting in the way of the client(s) overall satisfaction.

Mental and behavioral health today is received radically different than it was 40 years ago. Today, some of my clients will freely communicate that they are in therapy, and highlight what they are working on… I LOVE that! Therapy isn’t always necessarily something to whisper about or assume major issues are occurring in a family or individual’s life, rather therapy presents the opportunity to process, share, emote, and freely express your inner world with me, the therapist, who is (1) accepting, (2) nonjudgemental, and (3) holds to experience, flexibility, and tools to help you get to where you want to go.

I have found two things to be true. The first is most people struggle with insecure attachment, meaning as a child and into adolescence, most people didn’t receive the emotional security children need in order to go into their lives confidently. The second, is that children need authenticity to survive as well, but in the face of insecure attachment(s), authenticity is the first thing to go. The work of Gabor Mate encourages individuals to assess how parts of self are lost in the process of appeasing our caregivers in crisis, chaos, or insecure attachment events. When my clients are able to go back in time and assess when the mark was missed for empathy, security, and acceptance from a caregiver or parent, they start to identify where a sense of “this is who I am” authentically was set aside to continue to attach to their caregiver(s). Most clients are stuck dragging beliefs of self that are untrue, because these early experiences haven’t been processed or grieved. Most of us want to avoid, deflect, protect, and stuff our true emotions down.

The social impact of therapy I visualize as a ripple effect. When a couple comes in for therapy sessions and they are willing to work on how they communicate, their authenticity and self awareness, they create a more harmonious or balanced world for their children to exist within. When individuals come and start to accept themselves and reduce anxiety or stress, they become better bosses, co-workers, family members and friends. It is a simple but not easy process, however when we feel we are able to be ourselves and radically accept who we are without shame, guilt, or self blame, the world becomes a beautiful place to have relationships in! Whether the relationship is with self or others, a healed human being radiates it to others.

Can you give our readers an introduction to your business? Maybe you can share a bit about what you do and what sets you apart from others?
I am a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, which means I see all variations of clients but take a systemic approach to therapy. This means that even with individual clients, I am taking a family constellation approach to understanding their current patterns and tracking where the pattern or behavior came from. In general systems theory, I am interested in the client’s perspective and memories related to their own family members and how different relationships within that system function(ed) and affect everyone involved. In using a systems approach, I am interested in understanding the dynamics then and the dynamics now to get a clear picture of how modeling, experiences, trauma, and behavior continues to impact the client(s) today. The goal is to create a healthier relationship with self and others that ripples across the whole family system.

I also take a therapeutic approach that emphasizes exploring presenting problems from an attachment lens, identifying primary and secondary emotions within experiences, conflict, and interactions, as well as integrating parts work, radical self acceptance, trauma processing, nervous system regulation, and thought pattern identification to help relieve internal and external stress.

The journey into becoming interested in behavior and development came with having children and wanting to understand how to regulate my own emotions. I also was driven to help people, and this career seemed like the direct plug-in to doing just that!

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
I love the dynamic nature of Phoenix, If I am assuming my friend is visiting in the perfect Spring season I would do the following:

1. Breakfast and Coffee at Fair Trade Cafe downtown and walking around downtown to shop.
2. Go on a beautiful hike at Shaw Butte or Tom’s Thumb
3. Enjoy a late lunch at the Farm at South Mountain, Postinos, or Lucis!
4. In the evening, grab happy hour and see a comedy show at The Tempe Improv.

I would also partake in: A spa day at OMNI resorts with pool side leisure, browsing books at Half Price Books or Changing hands, dancing at Handle Bar J’s, a trip up to Sedona for hiking, relaxing, and visiting the art galleries.

There are also some incredible day trips or weekend adventures to be had in places like Jerome, Bartlett Lake, Bisbee, Tombstone or Flagstaff. Naturally you want to visit the obvious Grand Canyon, Canyon de Chelly, Antelope Canyon, The Petrified Forest, Painted Desert, Glen Canyon, and Horseshoe Bend.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
The first group for my shout-out is my family — both my family or origin and my nuclear family. I have the most loving, supportive, fun, and giving parents and siblings, without whom, I would probably not have pursued a career as a therapist. I relied on my parents to help with pick up and drop off when I was in graduate school, and my sister would fly in with support whenever possible to help me study or to lend a listening ear for the stress and chaos that came with undertaking higher education with young children. The encouragement from my family meant the world, and not everyone has that acceptance and cheerleading with their family, for which I am incredibly grateful.

My children are my inspiration, and it wouldn’t be fair to ignore their contribution to my path. They didn’t have a choice when it came to my career path, yet they did their best to communicate their frustration and emotions as well as support and cheerleading.

I also have an AMAZING group of women who I met in graduate school that probably saved my sanity through our shared trauma bond of being women who, later in life, chose a different career path. I work with two of them today and the other two fabulous friends are always nearby or a phone call away to chat with. Our shared experience brought us closer, and they are some of the most talented, intelligent, well-rounded women I know. Shoutout to Lolly, Naomi, Amy, and Paula!

Last but not least, my “mentors” are some of the experts in the field of therapy that I tune into, attend workshops or courses by, read their books, and listen to their content regularly. They include: Daniel J. Siegel , Dr. Tina Payne, Dr. Gabor Mate, Dr. Sue Johnson, Brene Brown, Michael Pollen, Richard Schwartz, and Esther Perel.

Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/shelley-a-treadaway-life-in-motion-therapy-phoenix-az/1089853