Meet Joel Evan | High-Performance Coach

We had the good fortune of connecting with Joel Evan and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Joel, can you talk to us a bit about the social impact of your business?
I help men build unshakeable marriages and deeper connection with their kids. My journey started about 2 years ago, after having been married for 10 years already with two young boys, my wife told me I needed to change. Our marriage was in shambles and my kids and I always fought.

My personal mission in is simply to empower men with the idea that instead of being another problem to solve, their relationship can actually be the solution. Instead of coming home to a new set of problems and stress, coming home can mean entering a safe haven of loving support and comfort.

And it’s easy to feel victimized and blame the outer world for our new relationship challenges. Or, we can recognize that by learning new relationship skills, we can not only cope better with increasing stress but also thrive. By facing our new sources of stress as a partnership, we can not only lower our stress but also grow closer with greater love and passion.

What should our readers know about your business?
What I learned through my own pain-to-purpose story, is that even after 10 years of building and hardwiring negative emotional addiction cycles with my wife and kids, it’s possible in as little as 3 months to reverse those negative patterns and transform your marriage and family. If someone is intentional, decisive, committed to taking action, and not afraid to get out of their comfort zone, they can create a new reality, a better reality. The three things that massively changed my marriage and family was: being super intentional about my actions, taking messy action, getting regular feedback from my coach and men’s group, and having a community to hold me accountable, challenge, and support me. This taught me that in fact, marriage was a skill. Fatherhood was skill. I and many men didn’t grow up with the right frameworks and skills to build amazing marriages and families. Instead, we operate and create families based on old beliefs and paradigms. We do what our fathers and mothers taught us. It’s only natural. Because of this, men often feel hopeless and trapped in their marriages when things are going well. They look for external reasons to blame and judge their wives and kids for what’s not working. If you want bigger muscles, you go to the gym. If you want to scale a business and you’ve never done it before, you hire mentors and coaches to accelerate your progress. But, we never do this when it comes to family and marriage. Instead, we approach it with the attitude of, “Well, let me wing it and see what happens.” Unfortunately, that never works. After transforming my marriage and family positively in as little as three months, and then radically creating a new paradigm in less than a year, I realized there was a framework, and it was replicable. And that’s what I teach the men, fathers, and husbands that come through my program. I also did this at a time that was extremely difficult in my life. I lost my job after 15 years as a San Francisco police officer in 2021 due the mandates. I was making over $200,000 a year, and overnight, I lost that job. I was trying to scale my own coaching business, and it was failing. I was going bankrupt, and instead of my wife challenging me to make more money, she wanted me to divert my attention to building a better family. I didn’t want to. I resisted. I cringed. I told her no. But when I finally went ALL-IN, and dove head first into this journey, that’s when the magic happened. My relationship with my wife not only got better, but we’ve grown the closest we’ve ever been in the last 15 years of knowing each other. My kids and I stopped fighting. There was less bickering and conflict and my kids started respecting me. The amazing thing about this is everyone says, “You can’t change a person, they are who they are.” I used to think that way. I used to say, “If only my wife would change and be less moody, then our marriage would be impeccable.” When I embarked on this journey of transformation, I didn’t try to change my wife or kids. I simply worked on changing myself every single day. My energy and ability to show up consistently as a leader for the family changed the culture-scape. The more I showed up for the family and led, something magical happened. My wife and kids began to change and transform as well, without me saying a thing. Without me saying, “You need to be better too. You should change and do these habits.” And so I think men highly undervalue the power that one person can change the environment around them by just their simple, consistent, and daily actions. If men knew how powerful they really were, and could tap into that, just think how we could change not only our family, but our local community, and more importantly the globe.

Let’s say your best friend was visiting the area and you wanted to show them the best time ever. Where would you take them? Give us a little itinerary – say it was a week long trip, where would you eat, drink, visit, hang out, etc.
As a 40-year-old married individual with two kids, I prioritize experiences that are enriching, family-friendly, and promote well-being. Here’s a curated itinerary for an exceptional time in Boise:

Day 1: Arrival and Acquaintance with Downtown Boise

Morning: Begin with a hearty and nutritious breakfast at Goldy’s Breakfast Bistro, known for its locally sourced ingredients and wholesome options.
Mid-morning: Take a stroll through Boise River Greenbelt, a scenic trail offering fresh air and beautiful views of the river. It’s an excellent spot for light exercise and bonding time with the family.
Lunch: Head to Boise Co-op for a delicious and organic lunch, offering a variety of options catering to different dietary preferences.
Afternoon: Explore the historic downtown area, visiting attractions like the Idaho State Capitol Building and Boise Art Museum.
Evening: Enjoy dinner at Fork Restaurant, which specializes in farm-to-table cuisine, offering healthy and flavorful dishes.
Day 2: Outdoor Adventures

Morning: Start the day with a nutritious breakfast at Wild Root Café, known for its creative and health-conscious menu.
Mid-morning: Drive to Bogus Basin Mountain Recreation Area for a day of outdoor adventures. Options include hiking, mountain biking, or exploring the scenic beauty.
Lunch: Picnic amidst nature with a packed lunch from Boise Co-op, comprising fresh salads, sandwiches, and fruit.
Afternoon: Continue exploring Bogus Basin, engaging in activities like disc golf or simply taking in the stunning mountain views.
Evening: Return to Boise and unwind with a family-friendly dinner at Juniper, featuring locally sourced ingredients and a cozy atmosphere.
Day 3: Cultural Immersion

Morning: Begin with a rejuvenating yoga session at a local studio, such as Sage Yoga & Wellness.
Mid-morning: Visit the Basque Block, immersing in Boise’s vibrant Basque culture through museums, eateries, and historical sites.
Lunch: Savor authentic Basque cuisine at Bar Gernika, offering delicious and wholesome options like salads and seafood.
Afternoon: Explore the Idaho Botanical Garden, taking leisurely walks amidst beautiful landscapes and learning about native flora.
Evening: Enjoy a family dinner at Alavita, known for its Italian-inspired dishes crafted from fresh and seasonal ingredients.
Day 4: Wellness and Relaxation

Morning: Treat yourself to a relaxing spa day at The Grove Hotel’s spa, indulging in massages, facials, and other rejuvenating treatments.
Lunch: Opt for a light and nourishing lunch at Lemon Tree Co., known for its fresh salads, wraps, and smoothies.
Afternoon: Take a leisurely stroll through Kathryn Albertson Park, enjoying serene surroundings and wildlife sightings.
Evening: Have a cozy family dinner at Bardenay Restaurant & Distillery, offering a diverse menu with emphasis on locally sourced ingredients.
Day 5: Family Fun

Morning: Start with a nutritious breakfast at Big City Coffee, fueling up for an exciting day ahead.
Mid-morning: Visit the World Center for Birds of Prey, where the family can learn about conservation efforts and witness majestic raptors up close.
Lunch: Enjoy a picnic at Camel’s Back Park, featuring scenic views of the city and ample space for outdoor activities.
Afternoon: Spend the afternoon at Roaring Springs Water Park, splashing around in the pools and sliding down thrilling water slides.
Evening: Wind down with a relaxed dinner at Boise Fry Company, offering customizable and healthy options like sweet potato fries and veggie burgers.
Day 6: Nature and Adventure

Morning: Embark on a scenic drive to Lucky Peak State Park, where the family can enjoy hiking trails and water activities like kayaking or paddleboarding.
Lunch: Have a picnic by the lake, enjoying homemade sandwiches and snacks prepared beforehand.
Afternoon: Explore the Old Idaho Penitentiary, delving into Boise’s fascinating history through guided tours and interactive exhibits.
Evening: Conclude the day with a family dinner at The Modern Hotel and Bar, known for its innovative cuisine and cozy ambiance.
Day 7: Farewell and Fond Memories

Morning: Enjoy a leisurely breakfast at The Stil, indulging in artisanal ice cream and freshly brewed coffee.
Mid-morning: Take a stroll through Freak Alley Gallery, marveling at vibrant street art and murals.
Lunch: Opt for a casual and healthy lunch at Boise Juice Co., offering cold-pressed juices, smoothie bowls, and plant-based snacks.
Afternoon: Spend the final hours exploring local boutiques and shops in the Hyde Park neighborhood, picking up souvenirs and mementos.
Evening: Bid farewell to Boise with a final family dinner at Red Feather Lounge, savoring seasonal dishes made with locally sourced ingredients.
This itinerary showcases the best of Boise, Idaho, through a health-conscious lens, ensuring a memorable and enriching experience for you, your family, and your best friend.

Who else deserves some credit and recognition?
My wife, Nini, because without her steadfastness to hold me accountable for the last 12 years we’ve been married and shine light on my blind spots, and make me conscious where I was not, I would not be doing what I’m doing today.

Website: https://www.joelevancoaching.com/

Instagram: @joelevancoaching

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joelaylworth/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joel.aylworth

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSeTmYGSDO4xJKAUWPdRs4A

Other: Here’s my bio + a link to all my headshots/additional photos, you can use them how ever you see fit: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15K2jFfWFbw_ZTWBJK8RpOt9561nex4CfXTqa4Y0dVpU/edit?usp=sharing