We had the good fortune of connecting with Dr. Melissa Estavillo and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Dr. Melissa, life can be so busy as an adult, and for many, especially those who’ve moved to a new city, making friends can be hard. We’d love to hear your thoughts?
I love this question! Forming health adult friendships can be surprisingly difficult. Introvert and extrovert alike, setting out to make a good friend is so much harder than finding a new job, starting a business or heck even starting a romantic relationship. It’s crazy! But the reason I think it is so hard for us to make lasting quality friendships in adulthood is because much of our culture signals that adult friendships are not really all that necessary. But they totally are! In fact, one of the strongest predictors of living past the age of 100 is not having a perfect diet and getting to the gym everyday, it’s having a rich connection to social support. It’s about having friends! So step one in making adult friendships is recognizing that your need for friendships is not unique to you. So many adults out there are lonely and are dying for good friendships. So feel confident as you try to make friends. You are helping that person out as much as they would be helping you. Step two, don’t be afraid to take some risks. Both romantic relationships and friendships only become something meaningful when we are willing to be vulnerable and expose ourselves to possible hurt. And lastly, be flexible. Great friendships don’t have to be based on finding someone just like you. Instead that should be based on the reliability of the person and the depth of their care for what you need.
What should our readers know about your business?
At Biltmore Psychology and Counseling we are a team of Psychologist and Counseling professionals who are passionate about our clients. Psychology has a long history of pathologizing people and making them feel neurotic and bad about their distress. But at BPC, we don’t view others as broken and damaged, but on a journey to become the best versions of themselves. Though some nights may be dark, we believe in hope for the future and the tenacity of the human spirit. Our job is to journey with people through difficult times and provide the guidance needed to achieve something far greater than the average. We can’t promise that it will always be easy, but we believe that it is worth it and know that our clients do too. Transformation and becoming the best versions of ourselves only comes about through significant expertise, evidence-based practice and passion for the career. Minimum training and effort isn’t acceptable within our office culture and we are only satisfied when we know we have done everything we know to do. We challenge the status quo and set goals to defy the odds. And we can only do this when we refuse to ever stop growing and partner with clients who also refuse to ever give up their goals. As for the practice, there have been challenges all along the way. Due to the coronavirus, we recently have had to transition our entire practice to telemedicine, where each of our clinicians are providing care from their homes. There was a time where I wondered what I was doing wrong every time we faced an unexpected hardship. But after a while, I came to realize that all businesses face challenges. My specific challenges may be unique, but the mark of a successful person is one who just refuses to give up. I have been tired many days, but I have always refused to let the hardships or challenges stop me from realizing my dream.
Any great local spots you’d like to shoutout?
Literally right before the US began to shut down due to COVID-19, my college roommates flew into town to spend an extended weekend together. We spent most of our time eating, drinking and hiking so I’ll share some of the favorites from that trip. To eat, I love all the Upward Project restaurants. I live close to Central Ave and love that I can pick between so many of their amazing restaurants. For a glass of wine, I would pick Postino and for an amazing cocktail, I would certainly go to Windsor. Hiking this time of year is amazing. The weather is perfect and the wildflowers are just beginning to bloom. One of my favorite hikes is up in Cave Creek, called the Spur Cross Trailhead. At certain times of the year, the creek will flow through the hike and there are some breathtaking views of the desert landscape.
The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
Oh goodness, where do I start? You are right that there is no way that I could have gotten to this place in my career on my own. In fact, I hate the concept of the “self-made man/woman” because healthy, successful people never achieve true greatness without the help and support of others. The first shout out I would give would be to my family. My grandmother helped plant the seed of hope that I could go to school and achieve my doctorate. She was certain that I had it in me and never stopped pushing along the way. My parents continued with that support through encouragement and large financial sacrifice so that I could get the education that I needed to fulfill my dream of becoming a Psychologist. And to my husband who tirelessly devoted his knowledge of business to make sure I could create a viable practice that wouldn’t flop. He has been my cheerleader, my visionary, and my business expert from the start. Secondarily, I would give a shout out to my amazing co-workers. There is no way that Biltmore Psychology and Counseling would be a place of transformation without the dedication and commitment of my co-therapists Nikki, Danielle, Susan, and Veronica. We all push each other to be our best and give our best to our clients. Lastly, to the book written by Dr. Angela Duckworth entitled “Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance” I love her work because it reminds us that successful people are not naturally talented but are “gritty.” As many of us are going through difficult times through this world-wide pandemic, we need to remember that it’s grit that will get us through.
Website: www.BiltmoreCounseling.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biltmorepsychologycounseling/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/biltmore-psychology-&-counseling-llc- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/biltmorecounseling/ Yelp: https://www.yelp.com/biz/biltmore-psychology-and-counseling-phoenix-4 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCbqEc3Shf4Iv9pDuLe9BbA Other: Address: Biltmore Psychology and Counseling 6245 N 24th Pkwy Ste 106 Phoenix, AZ 85016 Phone: 480-999-7070