We had the good fortune of connecting with Dr. Marcy Buehler and we’ve shared our conversation below.
Hi Dr. Marcy, as a parent, what do you feel is the most meaningful thing you’ve done for them?
As a single mother parenting while I re-parent, I think the most important thing I can do to improve the life of my child is continue the process of healing from trauma cycles and breaking free of societal norms. In my professional career as a Psychologist, having worked with children for the last twelve years, I recognize the enormous shifts that need to be made as individuals and as a collective. Social-emotional wellness is foundational to our livelihood, success, and happiness.
Much of that work begins with ourselves. The best way I can teach my daughter that she is always lovable and free to be her authentic self is by demonstrating that same self-strategy to myself, knowing she’s always subtly learning from watching from me in the way I approach situations. This means I must practice my own self-compassion and self-acceptance of the fact that my dreams and her desires may not always coincide and that’s ok. It is imperative that I live my life through me and me only…. and allow her to live according to her own heart’s desire.
This art of parenting while re-parenting requires humility and vulnerability that can feel uncomfortable and intimidating. Yet, it is through these courageous actions that we begin to foster rapport and create environments in which our children are free to be truly seen and heard.
As a member of the self-proclaimed “first generation to have feelings about feelings”, I teach my daughter to self-regulate and honor her own feelings and emotions by teaching AND modeling breathwork, meditation, journaling, and setting healthy boundaries. We are not born knowing how to self-regulate or implement coping strategies. Allowing ourselves to feel our emotions is counterintuitive to past false narratives such as “men shouldn’t cry”, “women should be seen and not heard”, or “it’s better to stay quiet than cause a disruption”.
When I want to take away her pain and shield her from suffering, I instead sit with her and hold her as she feels and processes her own emotions on her own time. She watches as I endure my own heartache and suffering and then overcome and flourish. This is how she has learned resiliency. Every situation, each encounter no matter how grim, always allows a gift if we choose to see it.
I show her that martyrdom and self-sacrifice are not always admirable. Rather, I demonstrate self-care and self-respect by allowing myself to rest when needed and standing up for myself appropriately. Through my actions, I hope to have imprinted a deep-seated trust that the universe will always provide; perhaps not always everything she wants, but indeed all that she needs. The answers she seeks are within her. I hope to have taught confidence that truly allows her to embrace her authenticity, celebrate her uniqueness, and live her life with intention and alignment.
Let’s talk shop? Tell us more about your career, what can you share with our community?
To start, I am Health Psychologist with a passion to help others unlock their inner self. I also have a graduate degree in Educational Psychology, plus over a decade of experience working in the field. Beyond that, I also have a passion for a holistic approach to wellness. As such, I am a certified Trauma Professional and MBSR (Mindful-Based Stress Reduction) Instructor.
With degrees and certifications, I still found myself grinding through my own personal, life-altering hardships. During the worst stress, I came face-to-face with jarring truths about my own identity and unpacked dysfunctional patterns in my life. I broke through. I found what I refer to as my inner Conqueress.
It was an epiphany: my life’s calling was to decode and synthesize my years of institutional schooling, professional experience, and personal ‘ah-ha’s’ and serve it to others in a practical and empowering way.
I offer tools and tangible steps toward cultivating your inborn purpose of existence in a thriving manner.
My happy place is anywhere I can feel the sun on my skin, hear my daughter’s laughter and witness breakthroughs instead of breakdowns.
I am grateful to offer my recently published book, The Conqueress: A Guide to Overcoming Obstacles and Honoring Yourself which offers the innate power to transform your life. I also offer corporate training, coaching, and public speaking services. I would love to follow your transformation; post your journey at @drmarcyb on Facebook or @dr.marcyb on Instagram.
Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
I enjoy weekend bike rides along the canal and hiking the many scenic trails in the Phoenix Mountain Preserves followed by brunch at establishments such as Luci’s at The Orchard and Snooze. As an Ohio native, I appreciate the warm desert weather by enjoying patio scenes such as Oven and Vine, Postino’s, and The Yard.
Also, be sure to check out my book at local spots such as Changing Hands Bookstore.
Shoutout is all about shouting out others who you feel deserve additional recognition and exposure. Who would you like to shoutout?
My credit is attributed to my own parents and all those that came before me. Each generation does the best they can with the tools and skills that have been bestowed. Luckily, it’s the unconditional and unwavering love that transcends and promotes the desire to do better in the next generation.
I also need to give a huge shout-out and massive gratitude to my soul-sister, Amy Tewes. Thank you!
Linkedin: Dr. Marcy Buehler
Facebook: Dr. Marcy B: A Psychologist Blending Science and Spiritual Truths
Other: https://www.drmarcyb.com/shop Promo code GRATEFUL for free shipping and extra discount https://booktrib.com/2021/05/28/the-conqueress-helps-free-your-intuition-to-transform-your-life-from-the-inside-out/
Stacy Burk Photography