We had the good fortune of connecting with Sonya Andersen-Haile MS, LPC, NCC and we’ve shared our conversation below.

Hi Sonya, what’s your definition for success?
I think success is hard to define, because we live in a “what’s next?” type of society. Graduate from high school; ‘what’s next?’ Get a degree; ‘what’s next?’ Get a professional license; ‘what’s next?’ and I like many others suffer from this, so it can be really difficult to take a step back and consider… am I a success?

I believe that success is having a goal and reaching it, and then creating a new goal. I often have a new goal before I have completed the initial goal, but that does lead to me not taking a step back and recognizing how far I have come. On multiple occasions, one of my best friends and I have talked about the course toward becoming Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC), and how if we knew how long and hard the road would be, we never would have done it. 4 year bachelors degree, 3 year masters degree, internship, licensure exam, at least 2 years under a professionally licensed supervisor, tons of continued education and specialized trainings and then (maybe) you can become an LPC. Literally every port in that is a success, but it never really felt like it, at least not for long.

For me personally, I suppose I would define success as continuing to strive for things, to set goals, and work to achieve them, until we die. As humans we are hardwired to have purpose, often when a person retires, and does not put another purpose driven activity in its place, life expectancy decreases significantly; so yes, continuing to strive for things, to set goals, and work to achieve them, until we die; it’s a life well-lived, and a successful life.

Alright, so for those in our community who might not be familiar with your business, can you tell us more?
Getting to the point where I opened my own private practice for professional counseling was a long track, a lot of schooling, a lot of supervision, mistreatment, low pay, long days, high caseloads; sometimes friends and I would question why we got into this line of work when it was so very difficult to manage. It took a long time to recognize that it was the environment we were in, and not the norm. I distinctly recall thinking I would never make a living wage as a Mental Health Counselor, and it was rather devastating, but the second I got approved for my associate license I wanted out. I found a company, that worked in residential treatment exclusively with the Native American population and it was probably some of the most rewarding 3 years of my life, I know the facility I was working out of was above board, but I was really saddened to hear that some Residential Facilities had been taking advantage of this population. The tides started shifting at my work by the time I was ready to leave, one of the most valuable things I learned at this company was that I can have more, I can be a business owner, I can be successful, and frankly, I kind of always have wanted to be my own boss. I have been an entrepreneur pretty much all my life, I was just able to finally realize it in a very profound and impactful way.

The newest shift I have found in my practice, is that I really like working with the population of grief and loss. As a kid, teen, and young adult I had a really hard time with death, my Uncle passed away when I was about 6, my grandpa when I was 8 and both loses had a really significant impact on me. I missed them more than what some might deem normal, but I just couldn’t accept death for some reason. In college, when I was about 18, my cousin was murdered and I do believe that sparked an interest in Psychology for me… like why do people do what they do? And also, probably, how do we prevent it from ever happening to someone else’s loved ones? Her murder forced me to confront the fact that I was not at all good at regulating after a death. I chose to take a Death and Dying class a few years after this happened, with the hopes that it might help me not be pulled back so much by losses that had happened so long ago, and honestly it helped a lot. I was able to see death from many different cultures, and how they celebrate the life that had been lost. I was able to give myself a sense of control in a very uncontrollable situation, and I think most of us, when dealing with grief and loss have a desire to control that cannot be satiated by anything if we are not deliberately and mindfully finding the things that are within our control. We also can be dismissive of ourselves, like we “should be over it already” which is unfair and untrue, there is no timeline for grief, but counseling can help it not be so devastating and lonely on a daily basis. I have also found that one of the best modalities, at least in my experience, for working toward processing loss is Sand Tray Therapy, a photo of Sand Tray is included in my photos, this modality allows a person to see their internal world in a controlled environment from a different perspective, it is really helpful to get at pain points, without overwhelming the client, and allows for growth and change in meaningful ways.

Any places to eat or things to do that you can share with our readers? If they have a friend visiting town, what are some spots they could take them to?
I really like nature, we spent a lot of time camping when I was a child, I think my love of nature comes from that. Nature and great food, two of the best things in the world. So, I would say if my best friend were visiting and we wanted to have the best time ever, I would take her to Tucson.

Tucson is where my Nana (grandmother) lived my entire life, and I went to UofA, so I was able to experience Tucson in dynamically different ways, and there is a lot to love. I think the first place we would go is Mi Nidito, my absolute favorite Mexican food restaurant. The wait to get in is about an hour, and it is well worth it. One time, my husband, stepdaughter and I were waiting to get into the restaurant when a group of guys came out and one kept arguing with his friends about how great the food is and the wait isn’t that bad, but they did not want to stay. My stepdaughter said “Wow, that’s crazy, they are missing out.” Like I said, the food is bomb. Also, they took down a would be robber a few years back, you can look the video up on YouTube… they are simply dope.

We would then go to Mount Lemmon, which is absolutely beautiful. We could camp up there if we wanted to, go hiking, there are restaurants up in SummerHaven, they are all pretty good, but the view is the best!

If we stayed long enough, going back to town and doing literally anything on 4th Ave is pretty fun. Then we would have to go to UofA to look at the campus and eat at No Anchovies… do not ask staff if there are anchovies, they will throw you out.

We could also go to the Mission and get fry bread. There is so much to do, I am sure I am leaving things out, but this would be a fairly packed week/weekend right there.

The Shoutout series is all about recognizing that our success and where we are in life is at least somewhat thanks to the efforts, support, mentorship, love and encouragement of others. So is there someone that you want to dedicate your shoutout to?
When I take a step back and think about all the people that have had influence on my life, the list seems endless, but I will try to narrow it down to a solid grouping of people.

I have already told them this, on numerous occasions in different ways, but first and foremost would be my parents. Since I can remember my parents have supported me on different endeavors I chose to take on. When I was around the age of 8 I opened up my own Lemonade Stand, which was (obviously) fully funded by my parents, and it was pretty successful over the course of a few years. I moved from that to a backyard restaurant, which was a complete failure and my Mom had to do most of the work. Then I had a babysitting club, successful, but also doing business with friends is kind of dicey. Fast-forward years, I went to UofA to study bio-systems engineering, not at all my cup of tea. I dropped out, went to modeling school, modeling was hard, thankless, and not at all lucrative. So, I returned to school for Psychology, then a Masters in Professional Counseling, and currently working toward a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision. All the while, my parents supported every venture. I think they let me find myself, and my place in this world, contributing to society in the way that suits me best, with all the bumps and bruises along the way.

My husband and I have grown leaps and bounds together; having the restaurant we worked in together literally burn down, surviving the housing crash of 2008, having to move multiple times because of it, deciding each on our own that going back to school was the only way out of our situation, paying our way (as best we could, because we do have student debt) through school, and coming out the other side with Bachelors degrees, then Masters, and for my husband a Doctorate in Physical Therapy. I feel like we have been a source of support to each other in different ways all along this journey and I appreciate him very much.

And my 3rd Grade teacher Mrs. Rutherford, she was the first person in my elementary school education that believed in me, encouraged me, and nurtured me. Prior to this, I would say that I felt like more of a burden to my teachers; Hooked On Phonics did not work for me. Mrs. Rutherford didn’t get frustrated when I made mistakes, she took the time to teach me, and my peers when they were struggling, she actually made me like school. One year with her set me on a course of going from a low level, low grade learner to that of principal’s list within two years. I appreciate her time and care more than she will ever know.

Website: https://sandandsagecounseling.com/

Instagram: sandandsagecounseling

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